In Five hundred Years
by ozxiii
Summary: A story about Yoh and Hao finding each other after the Shaman Fight. Takes place after the Anime. A series of songfics/oneshots, loosely connected and inspired by Switchfoot songs. Please Read and Review!
1. In Five Hundred Years

**A/N: I've had this sitting around for awhile now and thought I should finish it up already. Anyway, here it is.**

**Song fic. Inspired by "Amy's Gone" by Switchfoot. Titled: "In Five Hundred Years."**

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><p>Amy's Gone - in Five Hundred Years.<p>

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><p><em>Amy's gone<em>

_And time rolls on_

_How far? how fast? how long?_

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><p>Hao's gone.<p>

He's been gone for so long. I wonder where he is now, is he okay? Safe?

I shouldn't worry about him like this, I know that, but I can't help it.

Because I didn't kill him. I deliberately let him live.

Since... Hao's not really evil. He can't be. He can see ghosts. Those who can see spirits are not evil.

That's why I can't help but worry about him. He isn't truly evil and I didn't kill him, so I wonder about where he is now. How far away is he?

How long has it been?

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><p><em>The last time we saw Amy<em>

_She was headed for the shore_

_Fighting off the volatile gray skies_

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><p>I know that Hao secretly enjoyed that time we fought together.<p>

Not because he got to kill, and hurt humans (after all, he promised to revive them afterwards) but because he was happy that he got to fight along with true companions. However brief it was, my friends were his friends, and as we stood on the shore line, staring out at the human ships, we became allies.

Not followers- there was no superior to subordinate relationship there at all -but allies, all on equal plane.

I think Hao liked that. That he had equals (not that we were anywhere close to his strength. I meant equals as people who shared a common goal). That he wasn't alone when fighting against them.

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><p><em>She said now begins forever<em>

_And that no one knows their time_

_We bid farewell not knowing_

_That might be our last good-bye_

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><p>Before we fought, I remember his words very clearly. He told me that no one knows when they are to die, yet, as shamans; death is a chance to enhance our strength. That much, I already knew, but then he went on.<p>

He told me that death is never permanent, not for a shaman at least. Shamans seem to be able to find their way back to the living, like Hao had.

Sometimes, the shamans may not remember their past lives, but they always end up being reincarnated. Hao told me that it was possible to retain consciousness; he's living proof of that.

But even so, he told me that if one bids farewell, it could very well be the last. Death and rebirth cannot change that.

And he told me "goodbye."

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><p><em>Amy was a fighter<em>

_She cut like Casius Clay_

_She burned like a fire_

_Despite these rains_

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><p>His strength was unreal.<p>

Through a thousand years, he was able to acquire such power... But power always brings loneliness. Hao must be lonely.

His strength is fire, and he is always warm. He even shielded me from the cold once, despite the rain weakening himself, he protected me with his warmth (further proof that he is not evil. I refuse to believe he kept me alive just so he could take my soul later on). But then, I wonder, did he have any warmth left for himself?

It wad the first time I saw Hao shiver from cold.

He's lonely, so he reaches out with his strength. But he can only keep one: strength and loneliness, or weakness and companionship.

He thought so anyway.

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><p><em>Where time was a question<em>

_She only knew one song:_

_She's singing, "how far, how fast, how_

_long?"_

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><p>I wanted to tell him that it wasn't true. That he can have both strength and companionship, but he didn't listen to me. Hao only knew one way of life, and that was to be alone. Strong and alone.<p>

He may be alive, but he's not truly living. That doesn't matter though, because I think he will soon disappear from this world so that he can be reborn again. Within the Great Spirit, he probably wonders "how far, how fast, how long is the next shaman fight away?"

He will most definitely be there in five hundred years.

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><p><em>Salvation is a fire<em>

_In the midnight of the soul_

_It lights up like a can of gasoline_

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><p>He'll be there, striving to win the Shaman Fight. I don't know if I will have the memories of this life time with me then, but I'm sure I'll be there too. In five hundred years, I'm sure we'll meet up once again.<p>

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><p><em>Yeah, she's a freedom fighter<em>

_She's a stand up kind of girl_

_She's out to start a fire_

_In a bar code plastic world_

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><p>And the future will be so different from now. I wonder what will have changed and what will have stayed the same? Will the dwindling numbers of Shamans decrease even more? Or will it increase? Will Hao like that world better? Either way, I think… he'll win the next Shaman Fight. He'll win and then he'll change the world according to his preferences. He's that kind of person, always fighting for his beliefs.<p>

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><p><em>When everything stops moving<em>

_And I stop to catch my breath_

_And ride my train of thought_

_All the way round_

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><p>Is he still fighting now? The fight's over, but I left him alive. I could never kill me brother, my own flesh and blood, my twin, no less. My thoughts stop and go into a standstill. I've come full circle, thinking about where Hao is and how he's doing.<p>

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><p><em>My thoughts return to Amy<em>

_And the fire she's begun_

_She came when we were freezing_

_And left us burning up_

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><p>Well… he's gone now. He's gone, even if he's still alive, I doubt I'll see him again in this life time, but…<p>

I'm sure he'll be there in the future. I'm sure we'll meet again, in five hundred years.

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><p><strong>AN: How'd you like it? Hm?I think it got kind of bad towards the end, it was hard though because I couldn't get back into the mind set I had when I first wrote this. I hope it wasn't too bad though.  
><strong>

**Reviews are appreciated! **


	2. A Better Future

**A/N: about Hao missing Yoh. Continuation of Amy's Song - "In Five Hundred Years" but this time, its inspired by "Sooner or Later - Soren's Song" by Switchfoot.**

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><p>Sooner or Later – A Better Future.<p>

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><p><em>Come back and haunt me<em>  
><em>Follow me home<em>  
><em>Give me a motive<em>  
><em>Swallow me whole<em>

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><p>Cold.<p>

I had forgotten what it felt like to be cold, but now, with the air thick with the iciness that comes with winter, I remembered how unpleasant the cold could be. It reminded me of the days after mother had died and before I had met Ohachiyo.

Cold and lonely days.

I have never forgotten what it is like to feel lonely though. Its a feeling that never leaves, it's a voice in the back of my mind, always there, always whispering and reminding me that there's no one else but me. It's even worse right now, with no one else's thoughts intruding my mind, with nothing but the sound of the wind blowing by.

The whispers of that voice are stronger than ever. Without any other sound to distract me, i'm reminded that I am alone in this life. It haunts me.

I have been wandering for many months now after I had come to accept my defeat. But why am I wandering is beyond me. There just didn't seem to be any point in living this life anymore. After all, with my loss and the Shaman Fight over, there would be nothing that I could do. Perhaps I could gather more followers, but that wasn't necessary. The only option left would be to die and wait for the next time I would reincarnated myself, when the next fight started again...

So why am I still here?

Something inside myself responded to that question. It was the source of the voices in my head. The voices that never let me forget that I was alone began to say something else, something that I had long forgotten, and that I subconsciously acted upon during the Shaman Fight.

"fill the void... The emptiness..."

Yoh.

The hole that was created when Yoh and I had separated from one another. This was the source of all my loneliness, or rather, this was the hole in the dam I had built to keep all these emotions back. Thinking back on it now, I want Yoh back, but not... Not just so that I can fill the hole.

Ah, so that was it. My reason for still being alive. I didn't want to leave this world without my other half. I wanted to be whole again. But is this enough of a motive to keep me alive for much longer?

Either I will eventually die of natural causes here, or I will die when I feel overwhelmed by the emptiness. Slowly, I can feel the walls that I built up break, cracks appearing and further weakening my emotional barriers. The loneliness is so overwhelming, I feel like I'm going to drown in it if this mental dam breaks. Like the waves of the ocean, it'll swallow me whole.

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><p><em>They way I've lost it<em>  
><em>What could I know<em>  
><em>When I'm but a mockery?<em>

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><p>I'm so stupid. I thought that... That casting aside my feelings and other weaknesses would make me stronger, but it's only given me another weakness. I pushed away my other self, the part of me that I thought was weak, but... Yoh's become quite strong now.<p>

It doesn't matter. I've lost him now; my weakness; my other self.

But how could I have known? I was such a fool, thinking only about revenge on humans. My mind was not clear and now i have lost something that was more dear to me than anything else in the world.

I'm stupid. I'm a fool. I'm so pitiful that it's laughable. See, I'm even mocking myself. This is how pathetic I've become.

A cold, lonely fool. That's what I am... I'm so alone.

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><p><em>Sooner of later you'll find out<em>  
><em>There's a hole in the wall<em>

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><p>Sooner or later, I'm going to die. Sooner or later, this dam's going to break.<br>Sooner or later, I'll drown in my sorrows.  
>Sooner or later... This hole... Will break me.<p>

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><p><em>Today is ours<em>  
><em>Condemned to be free<em>  
><em>Free to keep breathing<em>  
><em>Free to believe<em>

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><p>And yet I still hope that I can be one again. What a hopeless thought. My other self is not mine anymore, he... Yoh is out of my jurisdiction. I cannot control him, and he is unwilling to be by my side.<p>

That single mistake of casting away my weaker self has made my endless life even more unbearable. The pain, doubled.

I've condemned myself to something worse than hell, worse than purgatory... I've condemned myself to life, to live forever and bear the burdens of an endless life.

I will die, only to be reborn, knowing of all that was done in my previously life. Knowing that history will repeat itself and that man will kill himself.

And I will have to watch it all happen again and again.

I sigh, hoping... Praying that I may one day, in a future life, find a way to die. Permanently.

At the very least, I can hope for that, right?

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><p><em>I look to find you<em>  
><em>Down on my knees<em>  
><em>Oh God, I believe!<em>  
><em>Please help me believe<em>

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><p>What am I doing?<p>

I've left the cold plains that I had been wandering in previously and I have begun to head elsewhere, But where am I going? Where am I headed? Why am I wandering?

So many questions. I want answers, but... Somehow, I know that the answers I want are...

Well, I have some vague idea as to where i am going. I just don't know for sure yet, not until I get there anyway.

What I'm looking for, or I think I'm looking for... Is my twin.

I notice that I have been walking for a very long time now. I... I think I've found my way to somewhere in Asia, further confirming my suspicions of my unconscious actions.

Oh Great Spirit. This place is familiar... I... I want to see him, my other half, my other self, my twin...  
>Yoh.<p>

Please, let me find him. Let him be there when I reach his home. Let him accept me when, when I have casted him aside. Let me at least hope for this.

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><p><em>Sooner or later they'll find out<em>  
><em>There's a hole in the wall<em>  
><em>Sooner or later you'll find out<em>  
><em>That you'll dream to be that small<em>

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><p>It's so close... But... I... Why am I hesitating?<p>

There's absolutely no doubt that I want to see my other half, but here I am, acting like a scared little child. What am I afraid of? Of looking like I have lost everything? Of embarrassment? Of my weakness? Of... The hole growing bigger?

What's the point in fearing those things? Sooner or later, he will find out, and then, so will his friends.

It's only a matter of time before they find all these things out. Better sooner than later, right?

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><p><em>I'm a believer, help me believe<em>

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><p>And yet, I still fear all thus petty things. I want to believe that maybe, just maybe Yoh will accept me anyway, even after my horrible deeds.<p>

And I'm... This is a stretch... I want his friends to accept me too. The loneliness inside, the voices have grown so much, the whole time I was walking towards this place. I began to feel jealous of my other half, and that only made it worse. I just want to see what it's like to be liked by others like my other half is.

I want to believe that Yoh and his friends will accept me. I really hope they do.

I think... Yoh might just understand. But his friends are a different matter altogether.

All I can do is hope.

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><p><em>I gave it all away and lost who I am<em>  
><em>I threw it all away<em>  
><em>With everything to gain<em>  
><em>And I'm taking the leap<em>  
><em>With dreams of shrinking<em>  
><em>Yeah, dreams of shrinking<em>

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><p>And now, at the very last minute, I chicken out. My feet are moving again, except this time, away from the place that my other self calls home. I'm walking quite fast, trying to get as far away as possible.<p>

I don't know why I tries so hard to work up the courage to come here, and why I got my hopes up, just to run away, but I did. And it's not Yoh or his friend's fault, but i feel disappointed now. Not in them, but at myself.

Though, a little part of me is disappointed that Yoh didn't think to come find me. Maybe he really doesn't care after all.

But this is what I get for throwing him away like I did. Casting him from myself when we were born, and now I have lost part of myself - an important part of myself that I thought was a weakness.

It's my fault that this happened. I'm only getting what I deserve now.

I have nothing else left for me in this life. I should just go and find a place to fade away and wait for the next Shaman Fight instead of trying to fill this void in myself.

I will cross over to the underworld and wait. I will endure this loneliness for another five hundred years and hopefully then, my dreams will be fulfilled.

Until then, all I can do is hope for acceptance and dream for a better future.

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><p><strong>AN: this did not turn out the way I wanted to. But it's still nice, and I like this one too. I might rewrite this some other time though.**


	3. He'll Know What To Do!

**Reviews: **

**Thunder of Friendship:** haha, I've actually been thinking "hmm, what should i write for another oneshot?" XD Aww, thanks! Hm, you're writing a oneshot? let's see how it turns out! :)

Other review: Aww, thank you! Haha, honestly, I think I just turn songs into stories. I can't come up with things myself, it just happens that music usually is my muse. Oh, good taste? Hardly. Did you know that ALL these oneshots are inspired by songs by the SAME band? I like Switchfoot. 3 haha. Well, I hope you like this one too. It's really different (i think so, anyway) from my other onshots in that it's not Hao or Yoh talking. But I hope you can see the struggle that they're going through too. I won't spoil anymore for you. :3 But, I hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>Saskie:<strong> Ah, we'll see. These are a series of oneshots, so you'll have to wait for the next one... or a few after that. It's just tht these oneshots make something of a story in my head... anyway, I hope you like this one!

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><p><strong>AN:Thanks to the people who reviewed! I give you all cookies~~~ :D I hope you're enjoying these oneshots. They're fun to write and take no time at all. Plus, they loosely fit together to make a story. In my head anyway. It's kind of cool!  
><strong>

**Well, here's a new POV that I haven't written before! I hope I got this right! **

**Here's a clue: they talk about themselves in third person.**

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><p>On Fire - "He'll Will Know What to Do!"<p>

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><p><em>Tell you where you need to go<em>

_Tell you who you need to be_

_Tell you what you need to know_

_Tell you when you'll need to leave_

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><p>Opacho's whole life, Opacho has only known one thing for sure. And that was that Hao-sama was always right! Whatever Hao-sama said, it would be the law. He would tell us what to do, and we would do it. He would tell us where we needed to go, who we needed to talk to, what we needed to know and when we should leave Hao-sama alone.<p>

That was the way things worked. Hao-sama told us what to do and we did as we were told.

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><p><em>But everything inside you knows<em>

_Says more than what you've heard_

_So much more than empty conversations_

_Filled with empty words_

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><p>But Opacho knew that Hao-sama wasn't the cold-hearted, mean leader that everyone thought he was. Honest! Opacho knew that Hao-sama cared very much for all of us, that he worried sometimes about sending us out on missions. Opacho knew that Hao-sama always made sure we were strong enough before telling us to complete a task, but he would still worry.<p>

"Opacho," he once called me over. Opacho hopped to him merrily like Opacho always does. "Do you think the Hana-gumi will be alright taking care of the bodies of the legendary warriors?"

Hao-sama really cared about us. Honest! He did! He never sent us out ill-pu-paired (un… Opacho doesn't know the proper word!). When he told us to do something, he would rather do it himself, but he can't possibly do all that. He needed our help, and even when he worried so much about us, he told himself (I heard Hao-sama talking to himself before) that "what he was doing was for the best, that, in the end, the Shamans would finally be able to live in a world that they deserved."

Hao-sama always thought about the greater good. He didn't want to put any of us in danger, but he had to, to uh-ch-eve (another word Opacho doesn't know!) his dream. _Our dream._

This was unlike the Hao-sama that everyone else saw, because this side of Hao-sama showed a more caring side. I liked this side of Hao-sama the most. Opacho thinks… that Opacho was the only one who saw this side of Hao-sama.

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><p><em>And you're on fire<em>

_When he's near you_

_You're on fire_

_When he speaks_

_You're on fire_

_Burning at these mysteries_

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><p>But Opacho thinks that it's that side of Hao-sama that was in pain. He would hide it, but Opacho knows that Hao-sama just didn't want us to worry. Hao-sama is strong! Is what he wants us to think, and he is! Honest! Hao-sama is really strong! But he hurts on the inside. Opacho knows that.<p>

Sometimes, Hao-sama hurts so much that it shows. It's those days that he would try to get away from all of us and just be by himself. Hao-sama lets Opacho follow him sometimes. Opacho thinks he likes having Opacho around, and Opacho likes being around Hao-sama.

Sometimes, Opacho just being there is enough to make Hao-sama hurt less, but sometimes, it's not enough. Those days are the worst.

Opacho isn't very strong, but Opacho has powers of her own! Opacho can tell by the look in Hao-sama's eyes on those bad days what Hao-sama needs the most, but Hao-sama never admits it, and Hao-sama doesn't let me get him what he needs. Oops. Opacho means,_ who_ he needs.

Opacho can see that when Hao-sama is near Yoh-sama, that Hao-saa seems stronger somehow. And Opacho likes seeing Hao-sama at his very best! When Yoh-sama speaks, Hao-sama seems happier too, like he likes the sound of Yoh-sama's voice.

Opacho doesn't know why Hao-sama acts like that around Yoh-sama. Opacho thinks that when Yoh-sama is nearby, Hao-sama shows that caring side of him more, and Opacho likes that… it's just...

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><p><em>Give me one more time around<em>

_Give me one more chance to see_

_Give me everything you are_

_Give me one more chance to be... (near you)_

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><p>Opacho is jealous. Opacho is always by Hao-sama's side, but Opacho guesses that Opacho's not enough for Hao-sama. Opacho guesses that Hao-sama needs Yoh-sama too. And Opacho wants the best for Hao-sama, Honest! But, Opacho gets jealous…<p>

Opacho wonders, "why is Opacho not enough?" or "can Opacho have another chance to prove that Opacho can be enough?"

Opacho never asks Hao-sama these questions, but he knows that Opacho thinks about it, because Hao-sama can read Opacho's mind. But Hao-sama never answers the questions, like how Opacho never asks them.

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><p><em>Cause everything inside looks like<em>

_Everything I hate_

_You are the hope I have for change_

_You are the only chance I'll take_

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><p>One time, Opacho did ask Hao-sama, "is Hao-sama okay? Opacho is worried about Hao-sama. Hao-sama looks like he's in pain."<p>

And Hao-sama replied, "It's okay Opacho, it's not something you need to concern yourself with."

"But Opacho is worried about Hao-sama!"

And Hao-sama turned to Opacho with a very sweet, and caring smile on his face. He patted Opacho on the head like Hao-sama always does and said, "Opacho, sometimes, I hate the things I do. I hate myself for being so terrible, but at the same time, I know someone's got to do what I do."

And Hao-sama looked very hurt while saying this, even though he tried to hide it.

Opacho didn't say anything else, because Opacho knew that Hao-sama wanted to be alone. But Opacho still thought, because Opacho knows that Hao-sama can read Opacho's mind, that '_Hao-sama shouldn't feel so bad about what he's doing, because Hao-sama is right. Hao-sama is changing the world to be a better place, and that's all that matters. That's what Opacho thinks._'

And Opacho would sometimes hear Hao-sama give a little, tiny chuckle.

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><p><em>When I'm on fire<em>

_When you're near me_

_I'm on fire_

_When you speak_

_And I'm on fire_

_Burning at these mysteries_

_These mysteries…_

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><p>But Opacho wishes that she could do more for Hao-sama! Opacho wishes that she could make Hao-sama stronger like Yoh-sama can, or happier, like Yoh-sama! Opacho just doesn't know how to though.<p>

Yoh-sama just walks into the area, and Hao-sama brightens up. Opacho walks into the room and Hao-sama only smiles a little at Opacho.

Yoh-sama just speaks, and Hao-sama becomes happier. Opacho says something, and Hao-sama just pats Opacho on the head.

It's… it's… fu-rus-ta-rate-ting? Uwah. Opacho doesn't know that word! But… but not being able to help Hao-sama is fu-rus-ta-rate-ting!

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><p><em>I'm standing on the edge of me <em>

_I'm standing on the edge_

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><p>And now, Opacho doesn't know what to do. The Shaman Fight is over now, and even though Hao-sama worked so hard, he didn't become kind. Opacho doesn't think that's fair. But what can Opacho do now?<p>

Opacho doesn't even know where Hao-sama is!

Wah! Opacho had an idea! Maybe Opacho should find Hao-sama!

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><p><em>And I'm on fire<em>

_When you're near you_

_I'm on fire_

_When you speak_

_I'm on fire_

_Burning at these mysteries._

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><p>But what could Opacho do to cheer Hao-sama up? Hao-sama is most sir-tan-lee upset about not winning.<p>

Wah! Another idea! Maybe… maybe, Opacho should go find Yoh-sama!

Yoh-sama can make Hao-sama happy, unlike Opacho, so... so maybe I should ask Yoh-sama for help; Yoh-sama will know what to do!

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><p><strong>AN: Oh god, that took so long to write. It was fun writing like a little kid, you know? And Opacho's pretty cool, but it's hard always talking about people IN THIRD PERSON! **

**So, if you see anything wrong with this, please tell me. I want to go back and fix it. But aside from that, what did you think(I'm kind of nervous because this is the first time I've written as Opacho)? Please tell me and review!**


	4. Found You!

**Reviews:**

**SK-fan7: **1 - Really?i'll keep that in mind. Hmm, yeah, I like them too, because then you get the reason behind why characters do what they do and why they act in certain ways with other characters. Ah, don't worry about being "late," i mean, you reviewed, so that made me happy. :')**  
><strong>

** 2 -Yeah, he's so sad... I just want to comfort him! haha XD I get you, but you know, it's hard for Hao. he use to be so strong, but now, he's broken, and he can't find his courage anymore. Yeah, I love it when Yoh and Hao are close, don't you? I think twins would be really close... that or really distant. :P **

**Haha, thanks! I always like sequels to oneshots, they're nice. :3  
><strong>

** **3 - Oh, thanks a lot! Ah, I'm not that good, I mean... I think i still made a few mistakes in there with the whole third-person thing. I'm just not use to typing a character's name so often!****

**Yeah, well, I love Opacho. She's such an innocent little kid, following Hao around everywhere. I think she really loves him. Aww, it's okay. I get what you're saying. :')**

***blush* thank you~~~**

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><p><strong>Thunder of Friendship: hmm, good questions, which I can't answer for you yet. You know, I wanted to just leave this as a one shot, but then, I was listened to all these songs in this order (more or less) and this story just came to mind, you know? XD <strong>

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><p><strong>zaza98able: 1 - that's VERY sweet of you. :') hmm, I see what you're saying. I'm going to try to think of a way to make it flow better then. aha, I have just about all their songs... I can tell you more songs later, when I have more time though. I mean, I already have another oneshot for their song... you know, "yesterday"? There's a bunch of other songs too. I particularly like "Stars" which fits Hao perfectly, but I think I've seen other authors write for that song, so I might avoid using it. We'll see though. :3<strong>

** 2 - yeah, he does. I don't know. He seems so perfect, but he's such a good character to write about because there seems to be many sides to him. You know? Oh. thanks... hah.. I just like Switchfoot a lot right now... I think it's a phase... ;;  
><strong>

** 3 - haha XD I get you. but even if that isn't a word, it's okay. Well, I don't think that Hao doesn't love her as much, he just loves her in a different way, you know? Well, the first time I reread it to edit, I was like "Would Opacho even know that word?" o-O After all, she's like.. what? four or five? I don't know, but she's really young. So i tried to make it look like what she would do if she didn't know a word. hm, you should. I like the song, "On Fire." Actually, I really like a lot of their songs. ~;;**

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><p><strong>AN:** **I'm sorry this came late. I've been very busy. I'll update my other fic too, but it'll be a late update. Don't get me wrong, I have it just about finished,I just need to do some last, finishing touches before I post it. :P For now, I hope you enjoy this one.**

**By the way, it's Yoh's Point of View again, and this ends as a cliffhanger... I'm sorry!**

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><p><strong>Last thing before I let you read the story: COOKIES FOR MY REVIEWS! :D I LOVE YOU GUYS.<strong> ***throws cookies at you all***

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><p>More Than Fine - Found You!<p>

* * *

><p><em>When I wake in the morning,<br>I want to blow into pieces.  
>I want more than just ok, more than just ok.<br>When I'm up with the sunrise  
>I want more than just blue skies.<br>I want more than just ok, more than just ok._

* * *

><p><em>Ring.<br>_  
>Morning. I should get up... Ah, Maybe I can sleep for just five more minutes, but Anna will be mad if I don't get up on time.<p>

_Ring._

I don't get it though, the Shaman Fight is over, why do I still have to get up at this ungodly hour to make breakfast and go on my morning run? Why do I have to get up so early and train?

_Ring.  
><em>  
>I don't get it, but I don't want to get slapped. God forbid.<p>

_Rin-_

Oh. The suns not even up yet, but already I can see the sun peeking out from behind the horizon. Hmmm, it's so nice and peaceful... Maybe I can just stay like this is I can't stay in bed.

Ah, right, Anna will be mad. I should get breakfast ready.

_Step. Step. Step.  
><em>  
>Down the stairs, and now to the kitchen.<p>

_Step. Step. Step.  
><em>  
>Breakfast should be... What should it be? Something simple. Eggs? Eggs sound good. Maybe I can get some orange juice and milk out. What else? Bacon or sausages? I'll just start with the eggs first. I need a pan.<p>

_Clang. Klink. Clank._

Stoves up and running, pan's hot and so is the oil. Now, scrambled? Sunny-side up?

_Crack. Whisk. Flick._

Scrambled... Nice and fluffy. Flip. Hmm, I should make more.

_Crack. Whisk. Flick. Flip._  
><em>Crack. Whisk. Flick. Flip.<br>Crack. Whisk. Flick. Flip._

That should be enough. Ah, looking up, the sky's already lit up.

Hello, Mr. Sun. Hello, Mr. Blue-sky. Hello, Mr. Puffy-white-cloud.

Oh. I think Anna's up. I should serve breakfast before she gets up, eat before she gets down and then get out the door and running before she starts eating, or else...

_Shiver._

I don't want to think about that.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. I'm full. Now, where are those weights? Step. Oh, Anna's coming downstairs now; better hurry up. Found them. Step. Ah, I gotta get out of here. Crash. Ouch, tripping isn't fun. Step. She's almost downstairs! I gotta get out and training before she sees me!

_Safe!_

Now, the run. Right, the run.

_Step. Step. Step._

It's such a nice day out, especially after a rainstorm like last night's.

Yet, somehow... This doesn't feel quite right.

* * *

><p><em>I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.<br>I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down._

* * *

><p>It's weird but, this just doesn't feel right. I mean, everything's fine and all, but I feel out of place.<p>

_Fwoosh._

Passed the cemetery.

Being back in Tokyo, and still training. But this time, there's no reason for doing any of this. It just doesn't feel right.

_Fwoosh. _

Passed the convenience store.

Working so hard when there's nothing to gain isn't really right. But I don't think that's what bothers me so much.

I think it's because I kind of miss the Shaman Fight.

_Fwoosh._

Passed the river.

It's a little lonely now. I mean, it's just Anna and I at the inn. Sometimes, Ryu comes over and Manta too, but everyone else, like Horo Horo or Ren has gone home. Lyserg went back to England and Chocolove stayed in America. All the X-Laws went back to where they came from... Tamao, Seyram and Redseb went back to Izumo with mom, dad, grandma and grandpa.

I think Anna mentioned something about the Hanagumi coming to help at the onsen, but that's about it. Speaking of...

Blocken, Luchist, and everyone of Hao's followers seemed to have disappeared, just like...

Hao.

_ Fwoosh._

Passed the bridge.

I miss everyone. I miss having fun with all my friends and... Even though we were really loud and rowdy, I missed all that. Even though I had to clean up after every time we made a mess, it wad fun, so that was fine. I guess, training like I did before the Shaman Fight, except this time, there won't be anything like the fight to look forward to makes me a little sad.

It's just not the same.

* * *

><p><em>More than fine, more than bent on getting by.<br>More than fine, more than just ok._

* * *

><p>I want to see everyone again.<p>

Horo, Ren, Lyserg, Chocolove, Tamao, Seyram, Redseb, the family, all of the X-Laws, all of Hao's followers...

And Hao.

Ah, I tried. I really did, but I still can't stop thinking of him, can I?

That brother of mine. Gone, but not from my mind. I still worry about him, really. I don't think I've ever worried so much about something before. Not about the exams at school, not about getting the chores done for Anna, not about the Shaman Fight, not even about the possibility of a Shaman-only world.

it's just... I don't know. I miss Hao the most. He was the enemy, but I don't care about that, he's my brother and I love him.

I want to see all these people again, but it's not likely to happen. Maybe... If there was...

Another Shaman Fight? I want to have another Shaman Fight. Then this training wouldn't all be for nothing and I would get to see everyone again.

Oh, I'm back at the onsen again.

* * *

><p><em>When I'm lit with the sunrise.<br>I want more than just a good time.  
>I want more than just ok, more than just ok.<em>

* * *

><p>Chores are boring.<p>

Anna should have told me to get the shopping done when I was on my run. Oh well.

Hnn. The sun's really bright out. It's hot.

But it's nice, everything is nice out.

But I want more than that.

What I want is...

* * *

><p><em>I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.<br>I'm not giving up, giving up, not selling out._

* * *

><p>To see everyone again. To have what we had during the Shaman Fight... Good times, bad times and everything in between.<p>

To me, the Shaman Fight was a time that I never wanted to end. I didn't care if I became king or not as long as we could just go on like we were forever.

But somehow, times like that always have to end, and there wasn't even a winner.

And I lost the moment.

* * *

><p><em>More than fine, more than bent on getting by.<br>More than fine, more than just ok.  
>More than fine, more than bent on getting by.<em>  
><em>More than fine, more than just ok.<em>

* * *

><p>Ah. I've reached the store. Now, what did Anna want me to buy? Oranges, milk, bread...<p>

What else?

Hmm, I think she wanted me to cook a really big dinner tonight. Ryu and Manta are coming over, and I guess she invited some guests too.

What could I make that would impress Anna? What would be good?

What would be good would be if I could go back in time to when the fight began and just do it all over again. Wouldn't it be great to be able to fight alongside everyone like that again?

Oh. I found the oranges.

* * *

><p><em>More than oceans away from the dawn.<br>More than oceans away from the dawn.  
>More than oceans away from who we are<br>More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah._

* * *

><p>I gotta go pay now. Ugh, there's a line up.<p>

Ah. Waiting. Always waiting...

For line ups, for the next match, for the next time I'll see everyone...

My turns up.

_Scan. Flash. Scan. Flash._

"The total comes up to $23.28."

I pay.

_Kachink. Clink. Clank.  
><em>  
>"Thank you, please come shop with us again!"<p>

_Step. Step. Step._

Okay, now back home.

* * *

><p><em>More than fine, more than bent on getting by.<br>More than fine, more than just ok.  
>More than fine, more than bent on getting by.<br>More than fine, more than just ok._

* * *

><p><em>Step. Step. Step.<em>

I use to like days like today. Finishing training early, and then just doing a few small chores. These days are nice and relaxing, and lazy, like me. But nowadays, I want something more than just nice days like this.

_Step. Step. Step._

I'm restless. I want to see everyone again. I want to fight. I want-

_Step. Step. Step..._

Is that...? That puff of brown hair. The unmistakable afro of a small child...

I must be seeing things. Hallucinating... Do I really want to have another Shaman Fight so badly that I'm seeing things? To see everyone again, even our enemies?

I laugh. That can't be. It's probably just the heat. I'm seeing things, that can't possibly be...

_Step. Step... Ste-_

"Ah! Opacho found Yoh-sama!"

"EH ?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope that was enjoyable! It seemed a little mundane to me... but that's what I was going for. I mean, that's what I'm trying to get across, that Yoh feels like life isn't the same as it use to be after the Shaman Fight. **

**Anyway, please review! I want to hear more feedback. :3  
><strong>


	5. Live and Die

**Reviews:**

**krazynkuki: I read it! I'll review it soon, I promise!**

* * *

><p><strong>SK-fan7: really? Gosh, i'm flattered, really! Haha, I have a problem with OOC-ness. Once i have an image of a character in my head, I stick to it... mostly of the time anyway. But... really.. i don't think that I was THAT accurate... am I? Oh... well, thank you for reading!<strong>

**You know, i was originally planning this to just be a oneshot. and I think I wanted to turn some of the other songs into oneshots too, but then, after listening to some of the songs again, I just had this idea of a story... and it was all connected, i just couldn't leave it be like that. Yeah, I get what you mean. :) Because that's exactly what this is.  
><strong>

**Aww, thank you! Well, I just updated that now. i'm sorry you had to wait so long for it though. But thank you, really. I don't think my stories are that good, but I try my best, so it's nice to know that you like them. :')  
><strong>

**Oh, no worries. I try to update without delay, so I hope this suffices. :)  
>bye! <strong>

**P.S. It's okay. i like long reviews. and I get what you mean, because I've read some fanfics that just... completely blow my mind and leave me at a loss for words. So, don't worry too much, okay? ;)  
>haha, okay, bye!<strong>

**Oh really? Haha, yeah, I really love switchfoot. I think I'm going through a hase where I only listen to them. ;; Hm, you really should! Maybe you can guess what song I'll write about next? XD  
>Oh... okay, okay. bye!<strong>

**haha, very funny. XD  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Thunder of Friendship: Really? I'm so happy you like it! No, that' fine. I think it got repetitive to write. ;; but that's what i was going for, you know? I was trying to make Yoh's life after the Shaman fight sound like it was really boring. And no worries. If you criticize, then I will know what to fix and i can improve on it!<br>**

**Thanks! well, we're not going to see that, I'm sorry, but... you'll be happy with Yoh's decision in this next bit. ;) So, I hope you enjoy the next bit!**

* * *

><p><strong>zaza98able: you're the most modest person i know. XD Oh, thanks! Hm, Of the songs so far, I REALLY like Amy's Gone, and Sooner or Later. and Yesterday, but that's another Oneshot. XP <strong>

**well, he's got that confident exterior and air about him, but behind that, he's clearly had a hard life. So you can play on either side of him with that, so yeah, I got you. haha, thanks, I guess. XD **

**XD you're talking to Opacho again. that how old i thought she was... haha, I think my oneshots can become something of a tracklist. XP Hmm, On Fire, I only listen to sometimes... I don't know. I like the song, but I just don't listen to it as often. **

**Haha, it's okay. Oh, that? It's kind of like the sound effects in Yoh's life. The "step" is whenever someone was walking. the "clink/clang" was the pots and pans hitting each other as he cooked or the sound of money (coins). I admit, it's a bit weird, but I was writing differently that day. I like to try out writing in different ways and see which ways I like best. Hmm, I don't think it was random though. I was trying to make Yoh sound like he was bored of life being the way it was. I think that after the Shaman Fight, Yoh would feel a little sad about it being over, you know?**

**Haha, yeah. Yoh's still just a big kid to me, so I had to have that in there. Besides, even if he wasn't a "big kid," i still think he's extremely innocent. Or something like that (sometimes, I think he's just acting like that, and he actually knows more than he lets on). well, I hope I got you to reminisce about good memories! Hmm, I definitely took my time with this one and the Moonlight Dream update. XP but don't worry, I'll take my time if you tell me too. :3**

**Well, here's the next update, and enjoy~~!**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter switches back and forth between Hao and Yoh's POV. I'm not doing to write who is who… because I think it's obvious enough, plus, I don't like having a interruption in the story, just to tell you that it's someone new when it's so short. **

**Anyway, enjoy:**

* * *

><p>The Fatal Wound – Live and Die.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I am the crisis<em>

_I am the bitter end_

_I'm gonna gun this down_

_I am divided_

_I am the razor edge_

_there is no easy now_

* * *

><p>I always thought that I'd be the one who would deal the last blow and win. In a sense, I guess "I" did, but I never thought that it would be my weaker half that did it.<p>

The final blow was different from what I had in mind. In my mind, the final blow would be when I became the Shaman King. It would be the of wiping all those filthy humans off the face of this glorious planet. But what actually happened was different. What actually happen was my defeat. My weaker half sliced through me, injuring me severely - but not enough to kill; he would never kill - and stopping me from achieving my dream.

My dream... Of a shaman filled world... Of the end of all humans.

My entire life, I had always thought that a world without humans would be best. After all, they had ruined my life. It began when they shunned my mother and I, and it only grew when they killed her. When I lost my mother, I grew even more bitter, but I had met a few humans that made me rethink my thoughts. For a long time, I thought that maybe, humans were not so bad, but slowly, their evil thoughts drove me to insanity, and that was when I knew that I had been right from the start. That humans were the scum of the earth.

I began to believe that I was the one who should purify the world and bring an end to the scum… after all, I was told that I was a demon who would kill everyone. When you live, being told that everyday for a thousand years, you begin to believe it… the irony lies in the fact that it was the humans who told me this.

I am the demon who will end the world.

But before this life, I wasn't fully a demon. There was a part of me that was still caring, still human… it was the part of me that had once believed in humans, but I could not achieve my dream wit that part of me still believing in them. So I separated myself from him in this life. I use to be like a sword, one side was sharp and deadly, the other, dulled and blunt. Now, I'm double edged, and my other half is even less threatening now than when he was one with me.

And yet, he was stronger than me when it counted most. He was able to defeat me and prevent my reign… perhaps that was meant to be then?

Maybe I wasn't meant to be king.

* * *

><p><em>son of sorrow<em>

_staring down forever_

_with an aching view_

_disenchanted_

_let's go down together_

_with the fatal wound_

* * *

><p>When someone asks you to do something that you want to do too, but no one else thinks it's right, you have to make a very hard decision.<p>

Opacho gave me an excuse to look for him, but I'm still in no position to do so. I want to find him, but I'm scared of all my friends turning their back on me. I never want to leave anyone alone; I always want to save everyone from their own demons, but what if it means that I will be left alone with my demons?

I'm reluctant, but I want to. I want to save him.

Ever since the end of the Shaman Fight, I've wanted to find out if he was okay. I wanted to know if I had done the right thing, to let him live. I wanted to be able to sit down and have a talk with him, because we could do so during the Shaman Fight. I wanted to do so many things, because everything was finally over.

But I couldn't, because everyone still saw him as an enemy. And then he disappeared too, and I lost my chance.

Sometimes, I regret that last blow. Sometimes, I think it might have been better to let Hao win, who knows, he might have turned out to be a great king. Not only that, but maybe that's what was supposed to happen. Maybe Hao was supposed to win (he was clearly stronger… I had to borrow power from my friends) but I changed it. And now everyone's miserable.

Was Opacho showing up an offer for a second chance to go look for him, to do all the things with him that I wanted to do before but was unable to? To change everything back to the way it was supposed to be? I bite my lip, thinking this over again for the millionth time.

I want to find Hao. I really, really, really do. But I don't want to be alone. I really, really, really don't.

I shut my eyes tight, blocking out all light.

There's more than one reason as to why I want to go find Hao though. Yes, I want to see him. I want to apologize and make amends. I want to save him and get to know bim because he's my twin brother and that's what brothers do. But there's more than just that. I know it won't come true… it very likely won't, anyway… but if I just got a chance to see Hao again, wouldn't it be like during the Shaman Fight again?

Something inside me tells me that I might just be able to see everyone again. Everyone. My family, my friends, the X-Laws, the Ghandara, and even Hao's followers. Okay, maybe not _everyone_, but at least then, I'll be able to see my twin brother…

* * *

><p><em>this is the real thing<em>

_no rubber bullets now_

_this is the final bow_

_my breath avoids me_

_my chest is in my head_

_my stomach's upside down_

_down_

* * *

><p>If I'm not meant to be king, then maybe I'm not meant to be reborn every five hundred years…<p>

What am I saying? Of course I'm not. I disturbed the natural flow of nature. One should die, and stay that way. If they are reborn, they do so by the will of the Great Spirit, not by will of their own. I have… I have committed a crime worse than the ones that the humans have…

Should I receive some punishment for this?

Would it be death? No, that's letting me off to easily. What would be a fate worse than death? And eternal cycle of birth and rebirth? I suppose so.

Well, I might as well start now then.

So then, should I go look for Hao and go against my friends' wishes? Risking being alone-

What am I saying? If I don't, then doesn't that mean I'm just leaving Hao all alone? Opacho's here, asing me to look for him, so that confirms that Hao is completely and utterly alone. How sad. Hao must need someone to be there for him more than anything else right now.

I will look for him.

Just because I'm scared of being alone myself, doesn't mean that I should have to leave someone alone. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that.

Well, I might as well start looking now.

* * *

><p><em>son of sorrow<em>

_staring down forever_

_with an aching view_

_disenchanted_

_let's go down together_

_with the fatal wound_

_with the fatal wound_

_with the fatal wound_

* * *

><p>They say when you are about to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Of the first two times I have died, that did not happen, but I can't help but wonder if my life will flash before my eyes in this life time? Will it be my life for the last thousand years, or just this life?<p>

I grow wary of living and long for a permanent death, but if my punishment is to be reborn again, I will accept it. Live and die, and live again to die again. Forever, it will be like this. Forever, I will have to watch as the world destroys itself, and I go insane…

I might as well get it over with now. The sooner the better.

I lift a knife and point it towards myself. This is it… I-

An image flashes before my eyes. Not my whole life. Just a single image in my mind, and it stays there as the knife comes nearer and nearer, and then…

"NO! HAO-SAMA!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I always try to make characters do something because they genuinely care about others, but at the same time, I don't think anyone's **_**that**_** altruistic. For me, I think that they have some selfish reason of their own for doing things, so that's why Yoh ends up going to look for Hao. That's my take on it anyway (and I hope it got through. If not, then tell me, because I want to fix it up. This bit was a kind of short, and the song is pretty short too, so i don't think I paced it properly. So, in this case, feedback is needed!) **

**As for the cliffhhanger ending, I'm going to leave that up to your imagination. Hopefully, it won't take long to update, and I can write the next bit of this soon. There shouldn't be any delay, unless school suddenly takes a dive for the worse. ;; **

**Well, I hope you guys liked that. And sorry this came late. Life's just so busy and I got sick… ugh. **

**Anyway, please review~!**


	6. Our Savior

**A/N:First of all, I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG, PLUS, RIGHT AFTER A CLIFFHANGER TOO.  
><strong>

**You guys would _NOT _believe how much work I have had since I last updated. I didn't even have time to come here and tell you guys I was busy! Anyway, I'm sorry for the long wait. Here's the update, I hope you guys like it. I think it's a little choppy since I didn't get to work out the flow of it that much, but I still hope you all enjoy!  
><strong>

**Er, the stories of the characters' past are slightly modified for the purpose of this story. I mean, I needed to give these guys a back story, when they didn't have one or if it was slightly off of what I needed.**

**Oh, and to all reviewers, I'm sorry I can't reply as I usually do, but thanks for reviewing. I GIVE YOU ALL COOKIES FOR THAT! :D**

**COOKIES, COOKIES FOR ALL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (and cupcakes, if you'd like. ;D )  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The Beautiful Letdown - Our Savior<p>

* * *

><p><em>It was a beautiful letdown<br>When I crashed and burned  
>When I found myself alone<br>Unknown and hurt  
>It was a beautiful letdown<br>The day I knew  
>That all the riches this world had to offer me<br>Would never do_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Marion<em>**

* * *

><p>Mama and Papa gave Mari Chck for a birthday present. At first, Mari was happy, and Mari was even happier when Chuck started talking to Mari and playing with Mari. Chuck came with a gun, and Chuck told Mari that he would always protect Mari if Mari kept that gun.<p>

Mari was very happy. Mari had mama and papa and Chuck. But then Papa saw Chuck playing with Mari and screamed. He called Mari a witch, and yelled for those "evil spirits to leave his daughter alone." Mari sat there and stared, wide-eyed at Papa. And then Papa reached for a broomstick and raised it in the air. Mari thinks that Papa was going to hit Mari, but then

BOOM!

Chuck shot Papa.

And Mari wasn't happy anymore. Papa was all red, and Mari didn't like it. Mari ran away with Chuck, and we hid there for a long time. Chuck didn't talk to me that whole time though. Mari doesn't know why, but Mari was scared and alone.

Until… Hao-sama came and made Mari happy again.

* * *

><p><em>In a world full of bitter pain<br>And bitter doubts  
>I was trying so hard to fit in<br>Fit in, until I found out_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Machi<em>**

* * *

><p>I met Kanna when I fled to Germany. My own country, England, wanted to kill me because they had declared I was a witch... All because I could see spirits. Even my own parents didn't dare touch me. They were scared of my powers… my "<em>witchcraft.<em>"

But I wasn't a witch. I was a shaman.

When I escaped to Germany, I had nowhere to go. I was still on the run though, because I was scared that they were still after me. One day, I collapsed from exhaustion, and that's when Kanna found me.

She took me in, and healed me. She didn't show it often, but she was a very nice person, underneath that tough exterior of her's. Eventually, word of mouth spread and the village in which Kanna lived in found out that I was a "witch." They declared Kanna one as well, for helping me, and they too chased us from the town. I apologized to Kanna, and she told me not to worry about it, but we had both lost our homes, and we were both alone…

Until Hao-sama found us.

* * *

><p><em>I don't belong here (I don't belong)<br>I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
>I will carry a cross and a song<br>Where I don't belong  
>I don't belong<em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Peyote<em>**

* * *

><p>A boy sat in the bar next to me.<p>

He smiled and said, "I know your pain," and I believe he truly meant those words. I believed him and I followed him.

I still follow him. That boy, the one who knows my pain and my loss.

Because Hao-sama understands.

* * *

><p><em>It was a beautiful letdown<br>When You found me here  
>Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon<br>I see everything clear  
>I'll be a beautiful letdown<br>That's what I'll forever be  
>And though it may cost my soul<br>I'll sing for free  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Boris<strong>_

* * *

><p>My family was once powerful.<p>

There was once a time when my great, great, great, grandfather, Vladimir was loved by all and in return, he protected them.

However, that all changed one day.

The village was being attacked and my great, great, great grandfather protected them, but they kept coming. It was useless to just slay the intruders... He had to scare them off too.

So Vladimir impaled his enemies. For miles and miles, that was all anyone could see; dead bodies, rotting on wooden stakes. At first, the tactic seemed to be just cruel, but slowly, the enemy began to retreat and the plan had worked. Vladimir had scared off the intruders.

But they weren't the only ones that he had scared.

The village people began to spread rumours of Vladimir, saying he was a bloodthirsty killer... A vampire.

Except, they didn't outright call him that. They called him Vlad the Impaler and chased him from the village, back to the dark and lonely castle that my family calls home.

After all my great, great, great grandfather did for them, they chased him away. They shunned my family and when we had left, they sent people after us.

Vampire Hunters.

My family swore revenge on the ignorant humans that exiled us. We could not forgive them for antagonising us after we had protected them... And the nerve they had to send vampire hunters after us!

But then, there was a ray of hope. A young man appeared to us one day, seemingly harmful. He had not come to kill us, but to aid us in our revenge.

His name was Hao.

* * *

><p><em>We're still chasing our tails<br>In the rising sun  
>In our dark water planet still spinning<br>In a direction no one wins  
>No one's won.<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Blocken<strong>_

* * *

><p>I couldn't feel my arms and I couldn't feel my legs.<p>

I couldn't feel anything but the pain in my head, and the emptiness that came with missing limbs. '_Is this what It feels like to die?'_ I thought.

"Yes, it is. Would you like me to save you?" asked the boy who sat next to my head.

"Yes," I told him. He smiled at me and true to his word, he saved me.

* * *

><p><em>See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)<br>Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong  
>I will carry a cross<br>With a song where I don't belong  
>I don't belong<br>I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
>No, I don't belong here, I don't belong<br>I'm gonna set side  
>And set sail<br>For the kingdom come, kingdom come  
>Your kingdom come<br>Won't you let me down, yeah  
>Let my foolish pride forever let me down<em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Turbine<em>**

* * *

><p>Bullets flew over my head.<p>

I was not the enemy, but they shot at me. And for what? What would they gain from my death? The few meagre rupees that I had left in my pocket? The clothes on my back? The stale loaf of bread I was carrying?

It's sick and twisted, how humans behave when faced with poverty and hunger. In that situation, the moment they have a little power, they try to take from the rest of us, those that are even poorer than they are.

I was poor. So they shot at me, hoping to kill me and take what little I have left.

I could do nothing but sit, frozen in place and scared. How would I survive this? How would I live to bring this break back to my family?

When they ran out of bullets?

They would simply restock, would they not?

Somehow, I escaped. I found my way back to my home, but no one was there. There was nothing but red stains of the walls.

I didn't need to see their bodies. I knew what happened, and I wanted revenge.

But what could a poor man like me do? For days, I sat in my home, surrounded by my family's blood, thinking of how I could avenge my family. The bread… it was long gone by the time I have something of an idea for revenge, and I was starved. I was near death.

And that was when _they _found me. The ones who had killed my family. They were right there, and I could get my revenge. I was so close, but so weak. One of them pointed a gun at my head and –

Hao-sama got them first.

* * *

><p><em>Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name<br>Easy dying, you look just about the same  
>Would you please take me off your list<br>Easy living please c'mon and let me down_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hang Zang-Ching<em>**

* * *

><p>I didn't understand what was wrong with the way I looked. It was not my fault that I was a little… fat.<p>

I wanted for people to see past that, but they couldn't…

Well, he did. That boy who I had seen on the street. He told me that I could make it, if I really tried.

His words were inspiring. I believed him.

I still believe him.

* * *

><p><em>We are a beautiful letdown<br>Painfully uncool  
>The church of the dropouts<br>The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools  
>What a beautiful letdown<br>Are we salt in the wound  
>Hey, let us sing one true tune<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Luchist<strong>_

* * *

><p>I once fought against Hao-sama.<p>

I believed that he was an evil being that should not be allowed to exist. My life's purpose revolved around finding him and destroying him. It was all I could do… thinking about it every day, about when I would have the chance to rid the world of evil that-

I didn't expect it when I found him. He was still just a child… weakened.

Perhaps, I thought, I could kill him now.

But he won. He still managed to win against me in the form of a child. And yet, he let me live.

Was… Perhaps, Hao's heart not evil? Perhaps he had a justice of his own. He certainly had mercy, and if so, then he was certainly not completely evil.

And then I saw the truth. I saw the truth of Hao's justice, and I will never be able to repay him for helping me realize what was true.

For that, I am forever in debt to Hao-sama.

* * *

><p><em>I don't belong here (I don't belong)<br>It feels like I don't belong here, yeah  
>It goes like I don't belong here<br>I don't belong (I don't belong)  
>Won't you let me down (I don't belong)<br>C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)  
>You always let me down (I don't belong)<br>So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)  
>C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)<br>'Cause I don't belong here  
>Won't you let me down!<br>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>All<strong>_

* * *

><p>He was right. We didn't belong where we were. We deserved better, and he saved us from ourselves and from those that pursued us.<p>

He showed us truth and what justice really meant.

He showed us a utopia, that, even if it never comes to fruit, we still believe in.

And during our times of need, he helped us.

Shouldn't it only be fair that we help Hao-sama too then?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please review! I'd really appreciate it! :')**


	7. Realizing

**A/N: It's been a really long time, hasn't it? I apologize sincerely for this. Life got in the way, and I don't just mean school work. A whole slew of family issues and life problems came up and I had to get that all out of the way before I could post again. In any case, I hope this makes up for my long absence, and I hope you all enjoy:**

* * *

><p>Something More – Augustine's Confession<p>

* * *

><p><em>Augustine<br>Just woke up with a broken heart  
>All this time<br>He's never been awake before_

* * *

><p>Until this moment in time, Hao had never realized the full extent of what he had done. Yes, he knew that he had killed thousands, millions even, but he never thought about the consequences. <em>'So what if I killed that boy's family? It was their fault for not joining me.'<em> That was how he used to think, until he realized what he had done. That boy was going to grow up to be just like himself. A murderer. That boy would feel the same pain that Hao had. The same loneliness of living without a family, the same anger of knowing that his family's murderer was out there somewhere, the same rage that came with each passing day. That boy was going to grow up to kill Hao, or die trying. And this is what Hao realized, that the boy is just like him, that he had done this to many others. He left many orphaned children. Hadn't he sworn that no one should ever feel the same pain again? Yes he had, and that was why he felt like he was truly aware of everything that he had done in that moment. It had taken Hao a thousand years to realize this.

* * *

><p><em>At thirty-one<br>His whole world is a question mark  
>All this time<br>He's never been awake before_

* * *

><p>'<em>So what now?'<br>_All his beliefs and ideals were gone. He realized the fault in his plans and his whole world came crashing down on him. He had nothing to fight for anymore. Nothing. '_What now that you have nothing?_' Was there even any point anymore?

* * *

><p><em>Watching dreams that he once had<br>Feed the flame inside his head  
>In a quiet desperation of the emptiness he says...<em>

* * *

><p>He realized the flaws in his plans and what a hypocrite he was, but that wasn't the end of it. Realizing all this awoke something inside him, something that should have stayed dormant. There was a demon inside Hao's head. A demon that was born the day he killed his mother's murders… He was once again filled with rage, but this time, it was not at the innocent humans. It was at himself. '<em>I'm a monster,<em>' he cursed himself. '_I don't deserve to be alive.' _

And yet, Hao had condemned himself to die and to be reborn again and again. He would always remember his past, and his mistakes, he would never have a clean start. It would always haunt him, the demon in his head, the mistakes he had made, and most of all, the guilt.

Oh, the guilt was worse than the loneliness.

* * *

><p><em>"There's got to be something more<br>Than what I'm living for  
>I'm crying out to You"<em>

* * *

><p>At least the loneliness was a passive feeling of emptiness. The guilt, however, ate away at him, never letting him forget for even a moment that he was a monster. And Hao would have to live with this for the remainder of his days – forever. He had done this all to himself too. Hadn't Ohachiyo warned him from the start? Why hadn't he listened? Was he so consumed with rage and the need for revenge that he didn't see what he was doing? Why hadn't it stopped at just the monk that killed his mother? How did his rage grow to the size it was now, to the point of believing he had to kill all humans?<p>

* * *

><p><em>Augustine<br>All his fears keep falling out  
>All this time<br>He's never been awake before_

* * *

><p>And it went on like this. Hao was left all alone to be tortured by his own thoughts.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Finding now<br>His old dreams aren't panning out  
>All this time<br>He's never been awake before_

* * *

><p>Everything he had done was turning against him. His mind would not stop, coming up with more and more painful memories, letting him empathize with the survivors he had left. And he felt he rage that each one of them had over and over again. Because he had killed that many people, he had left that many wanting revenge, and they were all just like him when he had lost his mother.<p>

* * *

><p><em>But he's mad to be alive<br>And he's dying to be met  
>In a quiet desperation of the emptiness he says...<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>So then, why am I still here?<em>' That was the last question he asked himself before he came to his final resolve. In any case, he was driving himself to insanity and there was no reason to live. At least, if he died now, he would be able to have a few years rest in hell and in death before he was reincarnated for the next Shaman Fight. But he wouldn't want to take part in that next fight; he had no reason to anymore.

* * *

><p><em>"Hey, I give it all away<br>Nothing I was holding back remains  
>Hey, I give it all away<br>Looking for the grace of God today"_

* * *

><p>And his final resolve, Oh, Hao smiled to himself, thinking that he might be able to give himself some peace.<p>

'_Goodbye. I've realized my sins, and I've repent. Living in itself is torture enough, so please, Great Spirit, just let me rest.'_

This was his resolve.

'_Just let me die and stay dead.'_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've nothing really to say. I just want to apologize one more time, so I'm sorry. I promise the next update won't take this long to come out. **

**Please review~**


	8. Keeping Him Alive

**A/N: see? I told you this one wouldn't take as long. (In all honestly, this is up as an apology. Because I made you guys wait so long, I'm posting two tonight, so here's the second one). Now hopefully, I can finish this story up soon. :) I have it all planned out, more or less.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Love is the Movement<p>

* * *

><p><em>A day in LA<br>And millions of faces  
>Are looking for movement<br>Cause everything's stuck  
>And everything's frozen<br>And everyone's broken  
>And nobody moves<br>And everyone's scared  
>That the motion will never come<em>

* * *

><p>Hao-sama is all powerful. We always saw him that way. He was our leader, the one who would bring about a revolution and end our suffering. As Shamans we all felt that we had hidden in the shadows long enough. And it wasn't because of that, it was because we loved Hao-sama, that's why we followed him.<p>

Because we owed him our lives.

* * *

><p><em>This is the incompletion<br>Stuck in a line_

* * *

><p>So when we found Hao-sama, we didn't really know what to do. Marion screamed, and that was just enough to alert Hao-sama to our presence. The fire dissipated then.<p>

"Hao-sama! Why?" We kept asking him, but none of us could understand what would make our beloved leader do something like that. "The fire is your friend, isn't it? Why would you-"

"Because even fire hates me now," he would reply to us.

I don't think any of us completely understand Hao-sama when he says that. He saved us from our pain and we owe him our lives, but we never understood Hao-sama. He never told us about his past, only Opacho knew that, and she wasn't here. Much less, she was so young; we all doubt that she even understood what Hao-sama told her.

Even though we had temporarily stopped Hao-sama from killing himself, we couldn't save him from himself. He reminded us of ourselves, when we were still lost and angry at the world, except all his anger was directed at himself.

It was so sad to see. We wanted to help, but we didn't know how to.

* * *

><p><em>Love is the movement<br>Love is a revolution  
>This is redemption<br>We don't have to slow back down_

* * *

><p>Hadn't Hao taught us how to live though?<p>

Wasn't he the one that taught us how to live through the suffering and find the light at the end of the tunnel? And he even gave us all a purpose to live, to save other shamans from our pain, to start a revolution. But we can't even do the same for Hao-sama when he needed us. What good are we as followers?

* * *

><p><em>The stars are alive<br>They dance to the music  
>Of the deepest emotion<br>And all of the world  
>Is singing in time<br>As the heavens are caving in  
>Mysterious ways<br>Why God gave His life  
>To put motion inside my soul<em>

* * *

><p>So we all did the one thing we could think of.<p>

It took some time and convincing, but we were able to get Hao-sama to come outside one night. We led him away from urban areas and brought him to a clearing. He laid down on the grass and we all stargazed with him, and it was the first time we saw Hao-sama genuinely smile.

"Thank you."

In two words, Hao-sama was able to convey his thanks. It wasn't the typical "thanks," that people so commonly just say nowadays, Hao-sama really meant it when he said that. WE could see it in his eyes… that he was really thankful for us.

After that night, Hao-sama opened up a bit. He didn't tell us everything, we don't think he ever will, but he let us see a glimpse of what he had been through the last few months after the Shaman Fight. It was terrifying, what he told us. We couldn't even begin to imagine the pain. Our pain seemed to only make up a fraction of what he was going through, his inner demons were far worse than what ours could ever be.

It was like Hao-sama's world was falling apart and we were only barely holding it together. This wasn't going to be enough, we needed to find a way to save him, because we owe it to him. Because we love him.

* * *

><p><em>It's bigger than cold religion<br>It's bigger than life_

* * *

><p>Because to us, Hao-sama has always been the most important thing in our lives.<p>

He is worth more than any of us ever will, and he deserves to live more than any of us. We admit, he made his mistakes, but he's suffered enough for them. We just want to find a way to help him now.

* * *

><p><em>We're starting now<br>We don't have to slow back down_

* * *

><p>Luchist had an idea one day.<p>

"We need to find Opacho," he said, and we all agreed to this, because Opacho was one of us, and because Hao-sama needed Opacho. But then….

"We also need to find Yoh-sama."

That tore us apart. Some of us agreed, some of us were against it. "What good would Yoh be?" some of us asked. Others shook their heads, "we're at a loss, what's there to lose?"

In the end, we decided that asking Yoh for help was the right course of action. After all, we really didn't have anything to lose, and he, being the other half of Hao-sama, might actually do some good. We knew where he lived, so some of us stayed behind to take care of Hao-sama, while the rest of us went to Funbari Onsen. As expected, Yoh was there, and though his friends immediately oversouled and readied for battle, he just strolled out of his house, relaxed as ever. His signature smile, the epitome of laziness, was on his face as he waved.

"What's up guys?"

* * *

><p><em>This is a revolution<em>

* * *

><p>Get up, get up<br>Love is moving you now

Yoh listened, and it sounded like he already knew what was going on. We asked him for help, and he gladly obliged. When we mentioned Opacho however…

"Opacho? She's staying here… she came here and asked for help too…"

"Where is she now?"

"Actually…. Good question, I think she went missing."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: please review! :D (it'll make me update faster. ;D )**


	9. Inner Demons

**A/N: this is by far, the most confusing chapter yet. I apologize for this, especially because I was gone for so long and then I come up with something like this. Anyway, if you guys get confused, please ask. I'll clear it up for you as best as I can. **

**Well, enjoy:**

* * *

><p>Redemption - Inner Demons<p>

* * *

><p>Four A.M. two hours to go<br>I'm wearing out a lonely glow.  
>I miss you more than I could know.<br>Here I am, here I am,  
>won't you get me?<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yoh's Point of View:<strong>

* * *

><p><em>We need to find her.<em>

I couldn't believe that Opacho was missing. She'd come to me for help, but I couldn't even keep track of her... ahh... this is all my fault.

If only I could convince Anna earlier that we should help her. If only I didn't care so much about what everyone else thought. If only I had the courage to do what was right.

I try. I really do, but I mess up sometimes, you know? I can't always help everyone. I try to, but sometimes, it just doesn't work out.

Ironic, isn't it? I always say that everything will work out. Don't get me wrong, it always does, just... maybe not the way most would expect it to. But that might be the best outcome, we just don't know it at the time.

_Faster. I need to go faster. We need to find her._

I wonder if the others have found her yet. I wonder if I'm the only one running around looking for her still. Everyone panicked when we realized that she was gone, but what if she went back to the onsen? Then none of us would know. No one stayed back in case she did go back... so maybe...

_Maybe she's actually still there?_

Opacho's clever like that. She would. She would make us all go look for her until one of us realized it.

I stopped running and turned around to go back to where I came from.

_She would. She's definitely back there._

* * *

><p>I've got my hands on redemption's side<br>Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine.  
>I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside<br>and I'll come alive.

* * *

><p><strong>Machi's Point of View:<strong>

* * *

><p>"HAO-SAMA?"<p>

But no one answers.

I worry. What would Kanna do if she was here? What would Mari do if she was here?

Where could Hao-sama be? I look around, checking his room, the kitchen, the clearing, anywhere and everywhere. How could he disappear like this? How could I miss the fat that he went missing?

If anything happened to Hao-sama, then it would be my fault. I would never be able to forgive myself.

I have to find Hao-sama.

* * *

><p>With my fist down at your feet<br>I was running out of mysteries  
>Insecure and incomplete, here I am, here I am,<br>won't you get me?

* * *

><p>In the darkness, a boy quietly hums a lullaby.<p>

The song is old, from a time long forgotten. It has been a long time since anyone has sung the song, no one would recognize it now, as its notes were aged, the melody yellowed like old pages of a book, and like the time it came from, it was long forgotten by everyone else.

But this boy hummed it.

Quietly, quietly, until his voice grew louder. The crescendo was not part of the song, but the boy felt a sudden urge to sing out loud and let the song be known once more. His voice was cracked and hoarse. He had not sung in a long time and was out of practice, but he sung anyway.

The song was the only thing to be heard now. The sound of rustling leaves and forest animals were masked by the sound of the boy's voice, by the song until suddenly, it stopped. The singing ended mid-song.

"Hao-sama," came a meek voice. It was so quiet.

"Opacho, come, sit," the voice was loud in comparison. It was not, however, strong as it had once been. The authority had long disappeared from the boy's voice.

Quietly, quietly, the girl went to the boy's side and sat down as she had been told.

"Hao-sama, sing for Opacho again, please?" the girl begged.

But the boy did not sing. He looked down at the girl. There was remorse in his eyes and it threatened to spill over.

"I'm sorry Opacho. That was all I had left in me. I can't sing anymore. I can't do anything anymore."

Like the song, the boy felt like he was going to disappear from the world and be forgotten.

_One day, thousands of years from now, someone will sing this song again, but no one will ever remember me again._

"But Hao-sama, I will remember you," the girl stated firmly. She looked up at the boy with determination in her eyes. Her mind filled with his thoughts and she wanted the power to change them all, she wanted the power to make him want to live again.

"I won't ever forget Hao-sama."

The boy's mind filled with the girl's thoughts. She countered each of his negative ones with a solution and a hope. He wanted so badly to believe that it could all be that easy to solve. If only, if only.

Their minds fed each other more and more thoughts. He thought negatively, and she would counter it, only to be shot back with another thought, just as void of feeling as the first. It was a gentle argument in their minds of who was right.

"Please, Hao-sama, please come back," the girl quietly begged. She wanted him to realize that there were still people who loved him, who needed him. But he didn't believe her.

"Opacho, it's not that easy."

And then he let it slip. He let the one thought that he had been suppressing for the last thousand years slip through its constraints and into the girl's mind.

His eyes were wide, horrified of what the girl would make of this, of what this could do to her.

Her eyes were wide, horrified with what she saw. What it true? Was this the thing that had been tormenting her master for all these years?

Slow realization dawned on her. She tried to help him, she really did. But in the end, she couldn't fix something like this. She began to cry, and his thoughts, still in her mind, made her cry.

Louder, and louder her wails became.

Her tears tormented him. No one was supposed to know about that thought that had slipped away. No one.

Her crying only fueled his inner demons, and slowly they began to take shape.

Thoughts of his mother; how he missed her, how they killed her, how he was all alone. They formed its arms.

Thoughts of his failures; how he could not save his mother, how he could not find his mother, how he could not kill the humans. They formed its legs.

Thoughts of his "friends"; how Ohachiyo left him, how Matamune left him, how he disappointed them both. They formed its body.

Thoughts of himself; his anger, his weaknesses, his _loneliness_. They formed its head.

And lastly, that last thought that was never meant to be in anyone's mind but his own, it gave the demon power.

His inner demons took shape and entered the world, hungry for destruction. It would kill everything that had ever caused its creator anguish or pain. It would get his master's revenge.

* * *

><p>My fears have worn me out<br>My fears have worn me out  
>My fears have worn me, worn me.<p>

* * *

><p>Crying could be heard in the distance.<p>

Dark shadows could be seen, even in the light.

Darkness swirled and gathered, even those without the ability to see ghosts could feel the chill in the air.

Those that could see ghosts felt the malice and anger, but only two people could feel the loneliness.

And only one knew what to do.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: you know what's funny? the first time i heard this song, I thought they sang " I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside, and they'll come alive," instead of " I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside and I'll come alive." So that's how this chapter came to be. Anyway, please review!  
><strong>


End file.
